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“Maleficent” – Early Review (NEGATIVE)

May 29, 2014

Screen shot 2014-05-29 at 9.25.31 PM

So, it’s official, I semi-quasi-tiny bit hate Disney. Ok, let me clarify, I love Marvel, I’m sure LucasFilm Ltd. will do just fine, and the Animation company is doing wonders (with the exception of “Frozen”), but the fucking Disney live action label is starting to come off as a big fat joke. The big suits up top decide one day, ‘Hey, instead of making newer and exciting stories, lets adapt a ride!’ $4 billion dollars later, ‘Hey, I got it! Let’s re-adapt our classic animated features, but give it a new age, NOT-“Wicked”, flavor.’ And here we come to “Maleficent”, and while one can argue that Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland”, was the beginning of this so called joke, its “Maleficent” that has finally done it.

Ever since the word on the street, that Disney is re-adapting the classic “Sleeping Beauty”, only being told from the villains perspective, the first thing I said was, ‘“Wicked” did it!’ I mean, c’mon people, is there nothing sacred anymore? Maleficent is one of the great-animated villains; to this day she gives me the creeps. I recently revisited the original “Sleeping Beauty” film, and Maleficent remains to be one of Disney’s best dark figures. So, now they decide to make a movie about her being a fairy warrior? Trying to implant a ‘save the trees’, ‘protect nature’ theme, change her into some kind of angry hippy godmother? Lets face facts Disney cocked it up here.

Now, having said that, I’d be lying if parts of the film didn’t catch my interest. The fact of the matter is, this is Angelina Jolie’s movie, through and through, when she’s in Maleficent-mode; she actually brings three dimensions to the role. The infamous scene where she places the curse upon baby Aurora (in 16-year-old form played by, Elle Fanning) was a wickedly delicious scene; major childhood flashbacks. The first act of the movie is horrible; let me make this clear, it’s HORRIBLE! Ridden with cliché fallen romances, one-noted character development, stupid bullshit made up to give the human world some, god knows, whatever reason to attack the fantastical world. It’s BAD!

The second act of the film…interesting things occur, and while I’ll still stand by the ‘“Wicked” did it first’ quote, I have to admit, I did enjoy the relationship between Aurora and Maleficent. What was originally intended to be a good vs. evil tale becomes more of a mother/daughter relationship story. Maleficent is wise and protective towards Aurora, not at first, but as time goes, when the day of her 16th birthday grows closer, Maleficent has a sudden realization that anger can be blinding, and that love can be found in the strangest of places…

Then we come into the third act. Look, you want to know the BIGGEST problem this movie faces? Maleficent’s qualm with the King Stefan (Shartlo Copley), who originally was a simple farmer boy in the beginning, who then fell for young Maleficent, and subsequently took her precious fairy wings away because…he’s an asshole. That’s essentially it, we’re introduced to what could’ve been an interesting dilemma; love affair between human and fairy, and it’s completely trashed because the guy in the relationship decided to be a dick and dump the bitch, but manages to take a token before hand (her wings). And that makes Maleficent’s motives for being evil so pathetic; she’s essentially the angry ex-girlfriend. There’s your new twist on a classic villain people, sure there’s a couple of other twists, some eye-rolling worthy, others minor-good, but nothing to brag about.

“Maleficent” is simply an unneeded movie, there’s nothing worthy of your time and effort towards it. A few girls I know want to see this; because they’re curious about the characters back-story, they want to know why she’s always had horns, and if she finds redemption. Well ladies, prepare for a major disappointment…the never explain the horns. NEVER!


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