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The Lucky 13: Best Movie Moments of 2013

January 8, 2014

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2013 featured some impressive and memorable movies, it was a good year. So, I figured before I make it to my FINAL 2013 related Lucky 13 List [the OTHER best films…], I decided to look back and pick my FAVORITE movie moments, the scenes that stuck out the most in my mind, the scenes that had people talking, good or bad.

So, behold my picks, these are the best movie moments of 2013:

13. ‘Wanna fight?’, “Only God Forgives” – A defining moment for a lead character with such a negative ora. Julian approaches the crazed cop Chang and makes him an offer he cannot refuse, asking him if he wants to fight. This fight entails many things for the character, we’ve seen Julian humiliated by his mother, we see him in a position of trying to prove his worth. The man owns a fighting ring, and you’d expect that he has some sort of…ability. Nope, Julian gets his ass handed to him on a bloody platter. Chang makes him his bitch, and he knows it, because in the grand scheme of things, Julian is a bitch.

12. Adèle & Emma’s First Love Scene, “Blue is the Warmest Color” – There are three key sex scenes, each are significant in the relationship of Adèle & Emma, but the first one sets everything up perfectly. This is literally a 10 minute, unapologetic lesbian sex scene that shows EVERYTHING. But the fascinating thing about this scene is that its done in a very untraditional manner. No music, no flashy cuts, it mainly consists of a master shot and a few inserts.

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11. Hold your breath, “Gravity” – The scene where Clooney’s Matt makes his way onto the Chinese space pod, Bullock’s Ryan Stone holds her breath for dear life. It’s one of the most nerving and terrifying silent moments in cinema.

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10. Gun barrel to the mouth, “Spring Breakers” – Just when you thought this movie couldn’t get anymore bizarre, we get this lovely little moment. Alien has been basically showing off all his ‘shit’, I mean, look at all dat shit, it’s cra-cra!  The girls playful toy with his gat, until the power table is suddenly turned. They point the chamber at Alien, threating him, telling him they may have used, who knows. But for Alien, being the out of space dude that he is, gets off on this moment, and gives the gun barrel’s a blow job. Yes, to the people who’ve yet to view this film, or simply didn’t make it to this part of the film, because walked out, you read correct, he gives the gun barrel a blow job.

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9. ‘They call me the King, AHHH!!!’ (End credits), “The World’s End” – I freakin’ loved this movie, seriously what’s a better comedy than having the Corentto gang together again? There are a lot of whacky moments in this film, but the one that still sticks in my head the most was the last frame. A water-requesting, sober, Gary King has been declined because his mates are Blanks (robots), so what does he do? Shows off a lil intimidation. And as soon as shit is about to hit the fan, Gary charges at the bartender for no more than three quick frames and then we cut to a “Happy Hour” song filled end credits. It’s so out of place, and is one of the big WTF moments because you sit there during the credits asking yourself, ‘That’s it? That’s where it ends? No! I wanna see the King fight!’ But let me lend you all in on a little secret, Gary is the King, we’ve witnessed this, sober or not, he IS the King and he will always own the moment.

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8. Slave Whipping, “12 Years A Slave” – There are a lot of brutal moments in this film but none compare to the infamous whipping scene. Steve McQueen brilliantly shoots this 10 minute scene where Michael Fassbender’s Epps forces Chiwetel Ejiofor’s Solomon to whip Lupita Nyong’o’s Patsey. This is a moment where there are no positive outcomes, no way of talking out of it, simply a gun being pointed at ones head to perform an act of evil in another persons hand. The tension continues to build thanks for the fact that there are no cutaways, this is one long shot, one long take, the camera moves from Patsey’s back to Solomon’s face as he casts his strides. Quite a heartbreaking scene, one that didn’t leave a dry eye in the house.

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7. Captain Loki, “Thor: The Dark World” – Loki is without a doubt the best part of the Thor movies, and it’s not competition here, he controls the screen perfectly. And being the God of Mischief you know he has certain abilities that likes to have fun with. Shape changing has always been a pinnacle trick of Loki’s in the comics, and in the recent MCU films they haven’t taken full advantage of it, until now. The best moment in this film, the one scene that had everyone talking, besides The Collector’s cameo, was Loki transforming into Captain America, to simply tease his brother Thor.

6. Bilbo Baggins — The Barrel Rider meets Smaug, “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” – The build up to FINALLY seeing Smaug in his full form was definitely worth the wait, and I must say, I think we were all stunned by his glorious sight as Bilbo. The moment Smaug catches Bilbo, you’d think this is it for our Hobbit friend, but being a ‘clever burglar’, what does Mr. Baggins do? He showers Smaug with compliments, throwing him off with the gratitude and wonder. It’s a brilliant sequence in the book, and it leaps off the pages and onto the big screen PERFECTLY. Not only is Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice fitting, but his mocop work truly defines this fire breathing dragon in the best possible way.

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5. An Over-Saturated Newsman Fight, “Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues” – This is a scene many fans were anticipating the most, we knew there would be another Anchor-Fight in “Anchorman 2”, we just didn’t realize how bizarre it would become. In addition to the presence of the BBC, MTV News, ESPN Sports News, the History News Channel (featuring the ghost of Stonewall Jackson & a Minotaur), and the apologetic Canadian News Team — sorry, a moment that has tattooed itself to my brain features Harrison Ford’s character, the ex-boss to Ron, Mack Tannen, miraculously transforms into a WereHyena! A WEREHYENA PEOPLE!

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4. Trevor Slattery, “Iron Man 3” – Nobody and I mean NOBODY saw this one coming, probably one of the best kept secrets/plot twists of the year. All this build up to Sir Ben Kingsley playing the infamous Iron Man villain, The Mandarin, turns out was nothing more than a drugged out, horn-dog, old Brit. And damnit, as much as it pains me to say it, I fuckin’ loved this character. Sure, in a perfect world having the Mandarin simply as THE MANDARIN would’ve been ideal, but this goes to show you that there are a few surprises left in comic book movies. And I can pledge right now, the audience I was with the first time I saw the film lost their heads.

3. ‘My name is Khan’/Spock yells: ‘KHHHHAAAANNNN!!!!!’, “Star Trek Into Darkness” – Speaking of twists, I don’t think it came to many peoples surprise that the elephant in the room would turn out to be Khan. For die hard Trek fans, or fans of “Wrath of Khan”, they kinda new where the movie was heading with it’s villain, John Harrison. In addition, for people who’re aware of Khan’s existence in the “Star Trek” pantheon, but were oblivious to the clues [in J.J. Abrams film], the reveal that John Harrison is in fact Khan cast a storm in movie theaters everywhere. It’s one of the many reasons why I saw this film 4x in theaters, all because I wanted to see/hear the audience reaction when John Harrison says those words, ‘My name is Khan’, with the classic Cumberbatch grin.

But, alas, this movie earns an equal, a tie if you will, for every ying there is a yang, and knowing that this movie would feature Khan, you know it needs to follow with the infamous scream of his name. What I didn’t expect was the film pulls a reverse “Wrath of Khan” at the end. Proving that no matter what kind of change you make, the status quo must follow [just not in the way it originally planned]. The roles were revered, Kirk is on the other side of the glass, rather than Spock. Sad to say, Spock didn’t take to kindly to the death of his old friend, Jim. Powerful moment, either it grabbed you emotionally, or you couldn’t help but laugh. Either way, for better or worse, this was a DAMN good Star Trek flick.

2. ‘Feast on this mother fucker!’, “Evil Dead” – I FUCKING LOVED “EVIL DEAD”, ok? Don’t judge me, it made it to my end of the year best list, so there should be no surprise that this movie would make it to my favorite best moments list. And to be frank, the whole damn movie is one glorious moment. But, I have to pick one, so if there’s one I’m going to pick, between the bathroom scene, the meat saw, the split tongue kiss, or whatever else you can think of from that film. I chose that empowering moment, where Mia, who’s been to Hell and back, lost a hand, lost her brother & friends, comes face to face with the evil entity, the deadite that started it all, and rams that mother fuckin’ chainsaw right through it’s mouth, thus creating an epic moment that would bring tears of joy to Ash’s eyes. What could possibly top this scene?

1. The Cerebral Palsy Phase,  “The Wolf of Wall Street” – Oh yeah, there’s the cerebral palsy phase from “The Wolf of Wall Street”. This is a scene that will go down in cinematic history as one of the top 100 greatest movie moments ever. The AFI will need to update that list, because this MUST go on there. Without giving too much detail away, since the movie is still in theaters, Jordan (DiCaprio) and Donnie (Hill) take an insane amount of old lemon quaaludes  hoping to get the most sensational high as a victory toast, but nothing happens, they figure the ludes for duds. That is until after an hour has passed, and ladies & gents, behold the most brilliant form of physical comedy by an Oscar nominated dramatic actor.

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