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The Lucky 13: Worst of 2011

December 29, 2011
Before I get into the BEST of 2011, I think it’s only fair that I share my picks of the WORST this year offered us. Agree with me or not, this is my oppinion. So, let us dive into the Lucky…eerrr, I mean, the UNLUCKY 13.
13. “Bridesmaids” – I probably gonna get guff for this, but I’m one of those small group of people out there who just didn’t really care for this movie. I thought it was highly overrated and way too long. Melissa McCarthy was the only thing keeping me in my seat, but that’s not enough for me to own this on Bluray.
12.“Season of the Witch” – A movie pushed back nearly two years in a row is never a good sign, especially when it’s a fantasy horror film starring Nicolas Cage. I’ve come to know him now as Mr. Paycheck.
11.“Zookeeper” – I’m probably one of the very few out there who like Kevin James and thinks he’s really funny. But, when he’s friends with Adam Sandler and his followers of fart jokes, it doesn’t seem to help his career nor be doing him any favors.
10. “The Smurf’s” – It’s good for kids, and Hank Azaria seems to be having fun, but for people with functioning brains, this is worse than water boarding torture. NPH couldn’t save this movie. That’s right, motha’ fuckin NEIL PATRICK HARRIS!!!
9. “The Green Lantern” – Ryan Reynolds is NO Hal Jordon! ‘nough said. Not to mention some of the worst CGI & 3D effects of the year. DC, stick with Superman & Batman, because those are the only movies that seem to work (for the most part). It’s fair to say that Marvel is fairly better than DC.
8. “The Change-Up” – Entertaining in some aspects, perhaps more of a guilty pleasure, but in every conceivable measure this is a bad picture. Ryan Reynolds needs to get his head straight.
7. “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” – When I first saw this in theaters the first thing I said, ‘Huh, well…that was a lot better than the second film.’ Now, I recently rewatched the movie and I had an epiphany, the “Transformers” movie series is god fucking awful! Besides, I cannot stand Shia screaming like a bitch for 3 hours on end. Oy vey, and yes the new girl is 10x hotter than Megan Fox, but she cannot act for crap. She made, Fox look like an Oscar winning actress.
6. “Just Go With It” – I’m sorry, but lately I just can’t seem to go with Adam Sandler’s career. He’s made horrible movie after horrible movie. His only two great films were “Funny People” & “Punch-Drunk Love”, movies that were not among favorite by ‘die hard Sandler fans’. This was an embarrassing movie to watch, but still at least watchable, not unlike his most recent venture…
5. “Drive Angry” – Nicolas Cage, c’mon, you’re better than this. Why!? WHY!?!?
4. Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star – I hate you Bucky Larson, I hate everything about you; from your dopey voice to your ugly buck teeth. I…HATE YOU!!!! Like Kevin James, Nick Swarsdon is doing himself any favors sticking it out with Sandler’s Happy Madison crew.
3. “The Rite” – What a boring horror film.
2. “Immortals” – OMG! I despise Tarsem Singh on a cellular level! His style, his visuals, his storytelling, his…everything.
1. “Jack & Jill/Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part I” – This is a tie, it has to be, omg, I walked out on “Jack & Jill”, and for some reason I stayed for the entire 2 hrs of “Breaking Dawn, Part I”. Somebody shoot me now, because I don’t deserve the air I breath after enduring Adam Sandler & Kristen Stewarts shit acting.
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